Back to Myself

因為時差在清晨五點時醒了，看著窗外的天色漸白。

不禁開始思考自己的人生是怎麼回事

其實一切都還很混沌不明

赫然發現自己來到美國後從來沒有寫過一篇關於美國的事。

簡直不敢相信再不到一個星期我就要回到那個四面環海的小島上。

或許下一個該思考的人生目標就是如何再次逃離吧。

我從來不敢正視自己一直想離開台灣的原因，即使我在那個地方有這麼多的眷戀。

在我幫他拍的照片中，印象最深的是一張他微皺著眉、眼神裡透露著難以察覺的悲傷。我很喜歡那張照片，188公分的他，讓我覺得脆弱得彷彿一碰就碎。總是表現得開朗、好親近的他，那天當陽光灑落在他臉上，我才意識到那是我第一次看見他發自內心的笑。我該假裝不知道，還是給他一個有溫度的擁抱...？

他的房裡有一個大大的問號。

他說，每天早上醒來，當他看到這個問號就會開始問自己問題。

"People are dead if they stop asking questions."

那一瞬間，我有點被他吸引的感覺。

照片攝於2013年2月3日。

23 Derde Weteringdwarsstraat, Amsterdam

寫下這個不再具有意義的地址，紀念我在那裡遺失了一部分的自己。

以及現在的我跟那時候有多麼不同。

我們要的從來就不是更多的堅強，而是一個可以安心表達脆弱的地方。

We don't need to change for someone to be loved

'cause there would be someone just loving the way you are.

If he doesn't, then he's not the one.

:)

Oh, her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair falls perfectly without her tryin'
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Yeah, I know, I know when I compliment her, she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me do I look okay?
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her lips, her lips, I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh her laugh, she hates but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful
And I tell her everyday

Oh, you know, you know, you know I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searching for, then just stay the same
So don't even bother asking if you look okay
You know I'll say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are

And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are